Nobody knows me.

Assalamualaikum.

You think you know me? Think again.

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap, but I just don't, for sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody. Knows. Me.

Everyone thinks I am such a happy person and that I have it all together. What they don't know is that I'm dying on the inside. I don't have it all together. I'm falling apart. It's always worst than it seems. I'm always try to see myself through the eyes of someone else. That's what kill me inside.

One of the hardest parts of my life is deciding whether to walk away of try harder. There's nothing more depressing than having it all and still feeling sad. No one knows how unhappy I am. It doesn't mean that I always be sad but when I want to be happy, something inside me screams that I do not deserve it. I just want it all to end. I have had enough.

I'm sad but I smile. That's my life.

Me,
Leenz