I'm changed?

Hi, how are you guys?

I don’t know what I should write here. My mind just like…uhhh. I just can’t describe and I don’t know how to describe this feeling. Or maybe I don’t have any feeling anymore?

I just decided that I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. I’m not the same soul I once was. A lot has changed. A lot had to change. Don’t expect what I embodied in the past. For the part of me no longer exist. My life has changed and I’m changing with it.

No, I don’t blame anyone. I did this to myself. Actually, this is my fault. Everything is my fault. I hate getting close to people these days. I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much and feeling too much. All I want to do right now is cry and scream and let it all out because its killing me inside here (heart).

Sometimes, I want to be alone but not to be lonely. Deep in my heart I know I am a loner. I have tried to blend in with the world and be sociable, but the more people I meet the more disappointed I am, so I’ve learned to enjoy myself with a few good friend.  And I’m not afraid to try again. I’m just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.

Actually, I miss the old me, happy me. But now, I’m not the same person I was a year ago, a month ago or even a week ago. I’m constantly changing and its my way of discovering who I am and who I want to become.

Sometimes, change is what I need. Life goes on. I need to move on and I don’t want to get hurt anymore.  Anymore.

END.

Me,

Leenz

7 February 2019 - 3.01pm